Bullies. Bullies! BULLIES! I was bullied as a child by another classmate. He was puny in stature, ugly, and always had snot running out of his nose. Yet, HE would call ME “Buffalo butt”! Back in the 70’s is when Twiggy was popular. For you younger folks, she was super skinny and boney and if you didn’t have a body like hers, you were fat. I was far from fat, but I didn’t have a body like Twiggy.
Because of this bully, I have spent my entire life concerned about my weight and my looks. It’s dreadful. Every time you’re out somewhere and hear a snicker from behind, you just KNOW they’re laughing at YOU! That’s how I’ve felt most of my life. So, my point is, I’ve been there. I know how it feels.
Yesterday, I picked up my son from middle school. He’s in sixth grade. He’s so handsome and growing quickly, but he still has the baby look, just a tiny bit. As he got in the car he was going on and on about some boy pushing him down. Knowing my son, I was thinking, “What did you do to him?” My son isn’t threatening but if someone says something mean, he has no problem calling them a name etc. So, as he’s complaining about his back and neck I only halfway listened and figured he was being dramatic. About that time my phone rang, and it was his P.E. teacher. She was calling to check on Jesse. She proceeded to tell me that Jesse had been “body slammed” by a seventh grader and landed flat on his back. She then told me that she witnessed the whole incident, and it was completely unprovoked. She assured me that she had already spoken to the Administrator, and she was calling the boys parents.
As the afternoon went on, Jesse complained about his neck and back hurting. Today, his Dad took him to the Doctor, and he confirmed that Jesse did indeed show signs of a neck as well as mid-back irritation. It was at the moment that I learned of this diagnosis that the anger set in.
Cue…Mommabear. My heart is aching that my little boy has been hurt by another student. It hurts me deeply to think someone would lay a hand on him. BUT….who the hell does this boy think he is? Shoving or body-slamming MY son?! Of course, my son is special! Isn’t yours? MY son is the greatest kid ever! I didn’t jump when he told me what happened because I know he can be mouthy at times. But when it was completely UNPROVOKED?! Are you KIDDING me? Who is this little piece of crap? Let ME handle this! Let ME body-slam this little shit and see how he feels! LET ME TEACH THIS PUNK A LESSON! Clearly, he doesn’t have manners. He doesn’t know what respect means. He’s just another little bully much like from my past!
In my fit of anger, I realize I talk tough, but there’s not a thing I can do to this kid. I HAVE to depend on the school to handle it. With as forthcoming as his teacher has been, I feel certain it will be handled. However, that doesn’t calm this Mommabear down as much as you’d think. As a mother, we protect our cubs. A real bear would not think twice about mauling one who touched her cub. I’m not a bear, obviously. I have to be civil. I have to act a certain way. Almost passive. If you have a child, I’m sure you understand. Yes, kids are mean. Yes, kids aren’t all raised the same way. Yes, a lot of children are bullied at home. I get it. I’ll calm down just out of pity for that child. I’ll have a different perspective in a few days. But, sometimes, I just want to be able to talk to the bully face to face. Just once! I wouldn’t have to touch the child to get my point across. I wouldn’t have to say a word. Just a look into my eyes and that child would know he had better never mess with my son again. They’re not little kids at this age. They know better. No excuses. No stories. No good reasons at all. You do NOT touch other people in any way, shape or form! He’d learn that rule from me. I’d make sure of it!
Most of these things I could never say to another mother face to face. I’d be shamed for sure. Right now, I really don’t care. You can’t tell me that you haven’t had the same thoughts. Whether you admit it or not, somewhere, lingering in the back of your mind you want to teach a bully lesson. Would we hurt a child? No. Of course not. We need to set examples for them to follow. We need to show kindness, especially where it may be rarely experienced. We need to be “adult” about it. So, I’m breathing deeply. I’m trusting the system. I have faith in his teacher as well as the administration at the school. The initial rage is gone…but I had to do something with the anger. So, here ya have it. A pussycat Mom turned in to Mommabear at the first scent of danger for her cub. I’ll focus my energies on my son, taking care of him and trying to teach him to have compassion for this child. Because, all in all, that’s what is right. I can only believe that this child who did this, probably isn’t shown much compassion or kindness. Jesse and I could very well be the only experience he’s ever had with it.
Bottom line…Be kind, to ALL. Even if it’s difficult. All we need to strive for is to simply…BE PEACE.